Satire 101: Say Something Absurd, Then Back It Up with Charts｜bohiney.com

Satire
101:
Say
Something
Absurd,
Then
Back
It
Up
with
Charts

Because
People
Believe
Anything
If
It
Comes
with
a
Pie
Chart

If
you’ve
ever
screamed
“How
do
they
not
get
that
this
is
a
joke?”
while
watching
your
satirical
article
trend
under
“Breaking
News,”
congratulations—you’re
one
of
us.
And
here’s
a
secret:
if
your
satire
isn’t
being
taken
seriously
by
at
least
three
confused
LinkedIn
influencers
and
one
guy
named
Chuck
who
owns
a
used
car
dealership
and
writes
angry
Facebook
comments,
then
it
probably
didn’t
have
enough

graphs.

At

Bohiney.com,
we’ve
discovered
the
forbidden
magic
of

absurdity
+
data
=
credibility.
It’s
why
our
most
successful
article
this
year,
“Ron
DeSantis
Accidentally
Declares
Florida
Its
Own
Country
During
Disney
Tantrum,”
included
a
bar
graph
comparing
Florida’s
GDP
to
the
number
of
gator-themed
air
fresheners
per
capita.

Want
to
learn
how
to
weaponize
this?
Buckle
up.
Or
better
yet,
download
a
totally
fake
spreadsheet
and
pretend
it’s
from
MIT.
And
if
you’re
hungry
for
more
sharp
tools,
study
the
dark
arts
at

https://bohiney.com/how-to-write-great-satire-with-techniques/.

Step
One:
Start
With
Something
Absurd,
But
Plausible
(in
a
Head
Injury
Kind
of
Way)

Example:

“97%
of
Americans
trust
dogs
more
than
senators.”

This
isn’t
just
funny—it
feels
real.
Because
emotionally,
we
do
trust
dogs
more
than
Mitch
McConnell.
And
once
you’ve
dropped
the
line,
slap
in
a
pie
chart
titled
“Trust
Rankings
Among
U.S.
Species”
with
categories
like:

Golden
Retrievers
Librarians
Sentient
Toast
U.S.
Congress

Boom.
Absurd
idea
+
fake
data
=
ironclad
satirical
credibility.

Step
Two:
Never
Cite
Real
Sources—Just
Invent
Institutions
That
Sound
Real

Want
your
satire
to
land
harder
than
a
TED
Talk
on
a
Segway?
Back
up
your
claims
with
made-up
think
tanks:

The
Institute
for
Truthy
Feeling
Studies
The
National
Bureau
of
Overreactive
Opinions
The
Center
for
Advanced
Microwave
Ethics

We
used
this
in
“The
Global
Engagement
Center
Evolves
Into
Domestic
Meme
Patrol”
and
quoted
the
“Federal
Office
of
Emotional
Overreach.”
At
least
four
journalists
DMed
us
for
a
source.
We
told
them
to
check
our
feelings.

Step
Three:
Line
Graphs
Are
Just
Sarcasm
With
Axes

Your
satire
should
look
like
someone
tried
to
quantify
human
misery,
but
forgot
what
math
was
halfway
through.
Draw
a
line
that
goes
straight
up
labeled
“Number
of
Vibes
Detected,”
then
flatlines
at
“Amount
of
Public
Trust
Left
in
Institutions.”

Use
this
to
back
up
statements
like:

“The
correlation
between
how
often
a
politician
says
‘freedom’
and
how
often
they
vote
to
ban
lemonade
stands
is
nearly
perfect.”

And
then
graph
it.
It
doesn’t
have
to
be
real.
It
just
has
to
be
colorful.

Step
Four:
Use
Footnotes.
Make
Them
Worse
Than
the
Joke.

Real
academic
papers
love
footnotes.
So
should
you.
But
your
footnotes
should
always
get
weirder.

Example:

“78%
of
billionaires
believe
they’re
relatable
[1].”

Footnote:

[1]
Survey
conducted
at
a
private
yacht
party
by
a
talking
pelican
named
Bruce.
Margin
of
error:
±3
luxury
jet
emissions.

At

Bohiney,
we
once
footnoted
an
article
with
a
citation
from
“Volume
4
of
the
Encyclopedia
of
Made-Up
History,”
and
now
that
book
is
trending
on
Goodreads.
We
apologize
to
absolutely
no
one.

What
the
Funny
People
Are
Saying

“I
once
got
hired
by
a
media
company
because
they
thought
my
satirical
graph
on
national
emotional
repression
was
real
data.
I’m
now
VP
of
Analytics.”
–
Nora
G.,
Former
Satirist,
Accidental
Executive

“Every
time
I
put
a
chart
in
my
satire,
engagement
goes
up
400%.
Probably
fake.
Definitely
effective.”
–
Randy
Q.,
Bohiney
Head
of
Satirical
Infographics

What
Bohiney
Expects
from
You
(Besides
Charts)

Satire
must
punch,
sure—but
we
also
expect
it
to
pose
as
science.
That’s
the
Bohiney
way.
Satirists
here
are
encouraged
to:

Invent
acronyms.
(e.g.,
F.A.R.T.:
Federal
Algorithm
Regulation
Team)
Quote
fake
studies
conducted
at
fake
universities.
(We
see
you,
University
of
Midwest
Feelings)
Create
graphs
so
stupid
they
become
genius.

Because
we
believe
satire
isn’t
just
about
mocking.
It’s
about
mirroring
society’s
obsession
with
authority,
even
if
that
authority
is
a
pixelated
pie
chart
made
by
an
overcaffeinated
intern
with
Microsoft
Excel
and
a
grudge.